11 Steps To Becoming More Confident In Your Life01. September 2017
Confidence…everyone truly loves a confident person. Although the form of confidence I am referring to shouldn’t be confused with being cocky or arrogant. Every person must comprehend the difference when it comes to being successful in all aspects of your life, for the simple reason that most people cannot stand cockiness or arrogance. No doubt you’ve possibly read or heard that everywhere and did not need me to bring to your mind this basic fact again. Though, it never ceases to amaze me how many people still get this wrong. Do not fret, however, in this article I’m going to tell you some basic, though powerful, strategies you can utilize to create the right form of confidence when building success in life.
Discovering Confidence within Yourself
First, we need to understand that being a powerfully confident individual can be demonstrated in many ways. Let me use the man approaching the hot woman scenario. Man sees he has a chance to start a conversation with a gorgeous woman, but suddenly man feels bad if he interrupts her from the conversation woman is having with her friends, or man doesn’t want to put pressure on the woman. So instead man doesn’t take the chance; man slowly turns away and disappears back into the shadows of society.
I’m sure we’ve all been in this scenario and if you’re nodding your head in agreement then that’s not entirely surprising either. You see most people are always seeking permission deep within their subconscious to do every little thing. However, in order to improve your success in life and build unbreakable confidence, you need to break out of this cycle and learn to give yourself permission, and that takes some real confidence within yourself.
Those Nagging Insecurities
When you manage to become powerfully confident within yourself, you begin to find it easier to point out certain things about yourself that the less secure people would try to overcompensate for or even hide altogether. One of the best things you can do to stand out from everyone else is to let go of any hang-ups you have about your insecurities. The fact is everybody has insecurities, yet most try to cover them up. However, the more you try to do this, the more insecure you will appear to those around you. Believe me; you will basically begin to dislike yourself for doing this. It’s like when a woman wears way too much makeup, it’s obvious she’s covering up something bad.
(A quick side note, I honestly don’t care how much makeup a woman wears. I’m in no position to judge anyone for how they feel comfortable. Wear a ton of makeup? Good for you!)
Cultivating Inner Belief
Those of us who are really confident believe we are deserving of success. Deep down inside, most people don’t really believe they deserve success and it shows. Not believing you deserve success is caused by a lack of confidence and this can be sensed in anyone a mile away. If you don’t feel deserving of any success in life, you’ll come up with all sorts of interesting and creative ways to sabotage yourself.
So what can you do instead? Well, you need to look inside yourself and cultivate the belief that you do deserve to be successful. In fact, right now I challenge you to go ahead and write down three reasons why you deserve this. Stop reading this article now and do this, then come back and finish the rest of this article.
I’m going to believe you’ve written down your three reasons and didn’t just keep on reading, right? Cool. Let’s continue then.
Mature, Confident and Successful
When you truly believe that you deserve success, you’ll stand out head and shoulders above everyone else and you’ll start attracting success into all areas of your life like a magnet. Confidence does that for you.
Confident people aren’t jealous and clingy. Some people feel left out if a friend or partner wants to do something alone or with friends other than them. Have you ever had a girl you really liked tell you, ‘I’m so excited! I’m going out with my friends to this concert on Saturday!’ and instantly you felt jealous or sad like you just lost something? That, my friend, is a lack of real confidence.
Look, everyone wants to be confident and successful, and at the same time, everyone wants to be around mature, confident and successful people. By mature, I don’t mean stuffy, boring and old, either. I most certainly do not mean my dad! I mean a person who gets what it means to be a mature adult and completely confident about who they are and where they are going in life.
When it comes to building success in any area of your life, confidence is vital. Everyone equates confidence with the ability to be successful.
In the dating world, many men have this problem of believing that women look for successful men because they’re likely to make more money, and this is simply not true. Women look for successful men because they’re more likely to be satisfied. That’s right, I said satisfied. Don’t give me that look either. A satisfied man has a lot to do with everything. Let me explain. Women know that men who are satisfied with themselves are less likely to go out looking for someone to satisfy them and are more stable. In a relationship, this means a man will be less likely to cheat, or change jobs frequently or get himself into any number of other compromising situations. So from this example, I think you can see why it’s vital that you display powerful confidence, not only around women but in all aspects of your life.
When it comes to confidence, it seems there are two kinds of people, those who have it, and those who don’t. Although on the surface this may be true, everyone has the potential to be confident. We were all born with confidence. If you’re a naturally confident person you may find it easy to approach people you don’t know, easy to stand up in front of a room full of strangers and give a speech and easy to open up to a woman you’re attracted to. However, if you’re not naturally confident this may all seem difficult.
While you may be ready to throw your hands up in defeat, don’t be so quick to give up. Just because you’re not the kind of person to jump up on stage and give a speech doesn’t mean you’re not confident enough to impress others. Take heart in knowing that you’re a good person, smart, funny, good at your job, loving, considerate or whatever else you find to be positive character traits that you have. Just keep in mind that you’re an individual who is confident with who you are, what you know and what you have to offer in life and everyone you come in contact with.
Discover Your Qualities
If you’re unsure of your strengths, try making a list of the qualities you have that you feel good about and the areas you feel may need some improvement. You don’t need to dive head-long into psychology, just take some time to reflect on yourself. You can use your strengths to build on areas that need a little work. Just be sure not to dwell on any areas you feel you may be lacking in, as this will only serve to make you feel even less confident.
A Quick Note on Confidence in the Dating World
Not only is confidence important when you first meet someone, it’s also important when you’re getting to know one another. You need to feel confident enough to be open with the other person about yourself. It’s a well-known fact that when it comes to women, a man who is afraid to tell them his thoughts and feelings isn’t typically looked upon as a potential partner. You see, that sort of behavior gets a woman’s defenses up and won’t get you very far in dating her.
Confident people generally make better lovers, too. A person who feels stable in their work, relationships and friendships tend to feel surer in the bedroom as well. If you come across as confident you’re much more likely to make the other person feel comfortable and they’ll be more likely to respond positively to your advances. Not to mention the fact that knowing you have what it takes to please a potential partner makes you a more self-assured lover who will be less reserved and more passionate.
Bring on the Respect
Being confident not only makes another person more likely to find you attractive, but it also makes you feel good about yourself. When you feel good about yourself you’re more likely to have another fine character trait: self-respect. Why is this important? If you have self-respect you’re more likely to be respectful of others. This inevitably will perpetuate a life-long cycle of confidence, self-respect, and respect for others that will serve you and your life well.
A person who is incapable of loving and respecting themselves is incapable of loving or respecting others. A lack of self-respect will send up a red flag to most people within seconds.
Love and Respect
We all want respect, and by all, I mean all people. Look at it this way, if you can’t respect yourself you can’t respect others, and if you can’t respect others, you can’t love others. And love, after all, is what we’re all looking for. We want it, we need it and we deserve it, everybody does.
In order to be confident in everything you do in life you have to be capable of respecting other people completely, mind, body, and soul. Ultimately, when it comes to confidence and self-respect, there is nothing that will substitute for them. You must radiate these qualities in order for anyone around you to be able to pick up on them. Most people don’t like to search for those character traits. If they have to chip away layer after layer before they find what they’re looking for, they’re much more likely to lose interest. So put your best foot forward when it comes to impressing people, be that in the dating, business or any other world.
Bond, James Bond
So, obviously, by now, you should be aware that confidence is an attractive and powerful quality!
Have you seen James Bond movies? It’s almost as if women are ready to jump on this guy even before he talks to them. But that’s only true in the movies, right? Well no, not exactly.
Ok, you’re probably thinking to yourself, here we go more dribble about how we need to be like James Bond. And I agree with you. I completely dislike hearing myself tell men to watch Bond movies and imitate him as best they can. Honestly, I don’t believe in “fake it until you make it”. I’m not going to tell you to be like Bond. Telling someone to be like a fictional character isn’t the way to go about helping someone build their confidence. I use the fictional character of James Bond for a quick example to help clients understand what a real confident man looks like.
A person who walks into the room with true confidence will just draw people to them, both men and women. This says to people that, ‘This is a different kind of person who won’t just agree with everything they hear. A person who is so sure of themselves!’
Now that’s attractive and most certainly powerfully confident!