Man Up and Ask Her Out01. September 2017
In a generation with social media and dating apps, asking a girl out has become easy. People hide behind their screens, talking to more than one girl at once without ever actually meeting them. Future generations will believe because they received a certain amount of ‘likes’ on social media they deserve a girl.
Go out to eat at any restaurant and you’ll have parents who give their kids iPads to play with. Their social skills will be non-existent. They become people who don’t know how to talk the opposite gender. Something needs to be done.
Look in the past to see what true dating was.
When you took your woman out on a date, you dressed up in your finest clothes. You didn’t wear shorts and t-shirt. What happened to the art of dressing to impress?
Most guys expect the first date will lead them to a night in the bedroom. Wouldn’t it be nice to learn about the woman sitting across from you instead of admiring her attributes?
There is never a reason you should have your cell phone out during your date unless you’re showing your date something. Turn off your phone and converse for once.
The pussification of man increases each day. It’s time you man up and ask that pretty lady out.
You’re walking down the street, out with your friends or at an event and you see you a beautiful lady. You can feel your heartbeat increasing but you refuse to make eye contact with her. This marks a weak man.
How are you supposed to succeed in business if you don’t even have the confidence to go up to a girl and ask her out?
The dating gurus will tell you some lies you say to the girl to swoon her. They want to show you the quick and easy fix for your lack of self-confidence. This is an underlying problem that needs to be fixed at its roots.
There’s a split second between when you see a gorgeous woman and when you convince yourself you’re not worthy of her. When you’re at a social function, go up to the most beautiful woman and start talking to her. Who cares if you make yourself look like an idiot?
The more times you go up to a girl and talk to her, you will gain confidence. Confidence that can be used in your relationships and in business.
Expect failure. If half the women you talked to you could get on a date, would you think about the ones that rejected you or the ones you’re going on a date with? Most men aren’t strong centered. They’ll constantly think about the women who don’t like them, wondering what’s wrong with them. Realize that you will not be a match with every girl you meet.
Asking out a pretty lady is scary. Do you know what is also scary? Be alone every Saturday for the rest of your life. If you don’t man up and ask her out that is what your life will be.
The more girls you ask out in person, the more your confidence will soar.
This goes along with confidence. If you need alcohol to have the courage to talk to a woman, you’re a weak man. You don’t deserve the woman if you need to be intoxicated to ask her out.
When you need alcohol to ask out a woman, you limit yourself to the places you can meet her. You will not meet the woman who matches your dreams at the club.
You will find these women at seminars, bookstores, at the gym, coffee shops anywhere where you can talk to her and remember the conversation a few hours later.
If you go on a date with a girl you met outside the club and recall something she said later, she will like that you were paying attention to her earlier. When you meet her at the club, you will not remember anything.
Alcohol shouldn’t be the stimulant that allows you to have fun. Just because you’re at a social event doesn’t mean you need to get hammered. Limit your consumption to a few beers. If you’re up to a challenge, try 30 days without drinking alcohol.
When you try to be someone you’re not when talking to a girl, they will sense it. Why would you want to date someone if you need to hide who you truly are?
It’s time you cut the bullshit lines and learn something about her.
You don’t have to agree with everything she says. Show her your opinion on certain matters. Speak for yourself rather than speaking to get her to like you.
Allow the conversation to flow and be silent when she speaks. Take in everything she is saying and respond to her in an honest manner. If she doesn’t like who you are that’s her loss, not yours.
When you speak authentically, you can feel the warmth in the body. When you don’t speak authentically, you can sense yourself trying to force out what you’re about to say. Take off your mask of hiding who you are.
If you’re nervous when going up to a girl, tell her. Don’t be someone you’re not. The girl will give you more respect for being authentic.
Focus on yourself
Before you get into a relationship, you should define your self-worth on who you are, not a person you just met. If she rejects what you offer, don’t take it personally.
Become a strong centered man. To become a strong centered man focus on yourself.
What do I mean by focusing on yourself? This your personal development. Are you trying to become a better person than you were yesterday? If you’re improving yourself, you’ll be able to know within minutes if the girl you are talking to is the right fit for you.
Go to the gym, read books, travel the world. Become 100% man.
Know what needs you wish to get met. If you choose the right partner, she’ll have certain needs to be met as well. This is where you can reciprocate.
When you focus on yourself, you respect yourself. You know when to walk away and when to keep going in the relationship. Possess the dignity for both you and your partner to put an end to a relationship if it isn’t fulfilling your needs.
Focusing on yourself also includes your appearance. Are you dressing in a way that will attract the ideal partner? Are you going to the gym to get in shape? When you first meet a girl, she will judge you by how you look, it’s human nature. Are you going to give off a good impression?
Sometimes focusing on yourself means being alone. When you’re alone, you can think for yourself. There are differences between a strong and weak person who is alone.
A strong person uses his alone time to further his development to attract the right partner. A weak person is conscious of how others view him being alone.
Who care’s what other people think of you? All that matters is the opinion you have of yourself.
Be A Man
It takes a man to go to up a woman and ask her out. It also takes a man to keep the relationship going. No woman wants a man who succumbs to her every need.
Make the decisions in the relationship. Don’t ask her, tell her. If you don’t, this is how the relationship will sound.
Her: “Where do you want to go to eat?”
You: “I’m not sure where do you want to go?
Her: “It’s up to you, I don’t care.”
That isn’t the conversation of a strong centered man. She wants someone who she can feel safe with and that doesn’t come from you being weak.
Take responsibility and show leadership in the relationship. Be the one who always decides. If you’re reluctant to decide, she may be reluctant in continuing a relationship with you.
Don’t make her your emotional center. If you get into an argument, you should never let it ruin your entire day or hers. Shake it off and realize that this part of every relationship.
Speak up when she does something you don’t like. Acknowledge what you don’t like that she’s doing and the two of you can work on it together.
A man is someone who has decisiveness, strength in his convictions, confidence, self-reliance, moral, self-discipline and displays honesty and integrity.
Make Yourself Vulnerable
Be open with your partner and show her everything you offer. Don’t hide anything or be someone you’re not.
Stop trying to hide your inner perceived badness. The only thing that it is doing to yourself is bringing toxic shame. A toxic shame that will not lead to intimacy.
She will not leave if you show her who you truly are. You fear she’d shun you or leave you and this will not be a good foundation in a relationship. You’ll be jealous and on edge with everything she does.
Don’t view vulnerability as a weakness, but rather as a strength. You’re allowing yourself to be seen which will create joyful moments in your life. Because when you shut yourself off from vulnerability, you distance yourself from experiences and finding a partner.
Asking a girl out is a risk. Falling in love is a risk. Getting married is a risk. Would you not be vulnerable and miss out on life’s precious moments?
If your partner doesn’t accept you for who you are, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship together.
We’re a generation who doesn’t want to be uncomfortable. We’re sensitive to everything. If we don’t like something we complain, expecting to get our way. Look at the protests still going on after the presidency. Accept the fact you lost and move on. This is the same if you get rejected. Focus on things you can change.
Being uncomfortable means living in a world that makes you anxious. In business and in a relationship, get comfortable being uncomfortable. When you’re uncomfortable, you allow yourself to grow.
Uncomfortable is known as getting out of your comfort zone. Walking up to a girl and asking her out would get you out of your comfort zone.
Realize the risk and reward of getting out of your comfort zone. Reward, you go on a date with a girl. Risk, she tells you no, or that she has a boyfriend. Guess what? There are millions of beautiful girls, don’t get hung up on one.
Dating is two imperfect people finding each other. There’s no need to act perfect around a girl.
If you can get her to laugh within the first five minutes of meeting her, she’ll become more relaxed. Tease her, do whatever it takes to get a laugh out of her.
If you make a joke and she doesn’t laugh, then just laugh at yourself. Brush it off. You’re a strong centered man and you continue the conversation like nothing happened.
When you make a girl laugh, you’re showing her you have the confidence to be yourself.
Lighten up when you’re talking to a girl, she isn’t your college professor.
Figure Out Your Goal
Most people enter a relationship without knowing what they want. Take the time to think why you want a relationship.
Do you want casual sex with someone with no emotions? Or do you want someone who can share in your experiences?
Write what you want from the relationship. You may be at a point where you want to date around or settle down. Only you know what’s best for you.
Take Time To Develop The Relationship
A relationship, like a business, takes time to develop. You can’t rush into it without thinking it through.
When you take time to develop a relationship, you lead the way for better intimacy.
You’ll be able to determine if she’s the right person for you. Too many people get married without thinking their partner through. It’s no wonder that the divorce rate is around 50%.
If you will spend the rest of your life with this person, you shouldn’t be rushing into anything. Take your time and let the relationship unfold.
Time will tell if you’re a perfect match.
Don’t Make A Bad Relationship Work
While you should take the time to develop a relationship, you shouldn’t stay in a relationship if it’s not meeting your needs.
If you’re unhappy with your partner and that spark is no longer there, leave them. There is a better girl out there for you.
People try to make a bad relationship work because they are afraid of being alone. They’re scared of not finding anyone better. This is a bullshit lie they make up to themselves.
This is your life. You have your own a mission, a passion that drives you. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, you will continue to work on your calling.
If your girl wants to change you in any way, leave her. Find someone who accepts you as you are. As the relationship progresses, you should be loved unconditionally.
Your partner and you must have long term goals that meet each other. Does one want a family, and the other doesn’t? You don’t need the same plans for future but the plans should be similar.
Turn Off Your Dating App
Go outside, put your phone down. Go to places where you can meet women. Interact with them.
Treat every girl you meet as the same. Don’t put them on a pedestal. They have faults like you and me.
If you want to get better at talking to girls, become friends with them. There are girls who’d be better being your friend than your partner.
Next time you see a girl who strikes your interest, walk up to her and start a conversation. If the conversation is going well, man up and ask her out.
And always remember, would your daughter like how you treat women?