What Happens When You Stop Caring What People Think01. September 2017
It’s the 21st century and we’re in the technology age. Because of it, we live in an incredibly sociable world. This is great for business and communication, however, there is a rather scary side effect that is hindering people’s success across the globe: Caring too much about what everyone thinks.
Gossip takes priority over ideas, people base their popularity on Facebook likes rather than the quality of their friends, and ultimately, people’s dreams are squandered by their fear of what people will think if they pursue them.
I’m writing this to show how tweaking your mindset can dramatically improve your life, so you can stop hindering yourself with this disease of the mind and start a journey towards achieving your version of success. Here’s five extraordinary things that will happen when you choose to stop caring.
You’ll only have yourself to answer to
When you base your thoughts on your own values and not the values of irrelevant people, everything starts to change. Rather than living up to societies or other people’s standards, you set your own standards.
You’ll be far more likely to follow your own path and not something you don’t enjoy if your main priority is to make yourself proud. In my opinion, the key to happiness is to constantly make progress towards a worthy goal.
That can be anything that you care about: developing a great relationship with your partner, building a business you’re passionate about, becoming fit and healthy etc. When you stop caring about what other people may think, you start caring about yourself, and when you care about yourself your main priority is to make yourself happy. Never forget that you’re number 1.
On top of that, you’ll be held accountable only to yourself. Your main priority will be to fulfill your own ambition, and if you truly care about your life the drive to meet your standards will be unparalleled. How could you be driven to live up to other people’s values and goals? Don’t be that guy that gets a job he hates, to buy stuff he doesn’t like, to impress people he doesn’t love.
Your confidence will soar
Shortly after I decided to take the reigns and pursue exactly what I was passionate about, I developed a crippling social anxiety for around 6 months. I place the blame for this on the fact I spent so many years doing what other people told me to do and trying to impress people. The fear of going solo set in and I put way too much of my time and effort into caring what other people would think about it.
Luckily, I started educating myself on self-development, which is when I realized that life doesn’t have to be the way it is and you can change yourself very easily if you put your mind to it. So I started pushing myself out of my comfort zone which changed everything. Every time I felt anxious of what other people were thinking of me, whether in the gym or at a social or business event, I talked myself out of it.
You know what I said to myself? ‘People aren’t thinking about you, they’re too busy worrying about what other people think of them.’ You see, everyone’s so caught up worrying about what others think that they have no time to judge you. As soon as you realize that, you will feel empowered to do exactly what you want and you won’t give a shit about what anyone has to say about it.
Getting rid of the negative thoughts will make you happy, and when you’re happy you’re naturally confident. A major byproduct of your newly found confidence is that it goes hand in hand with fearlessness. With no fears, you are empowered to pursue your goals with 100% drive. Nothing will stop you when you know exactly what you want and stop letting other people’s opinions get in the way of it.
You’ll be self-aware
As preached by Gary Vaynerchuk, self-awareness is the number one key to success. When you stop caring what people think, you start to think about your own values and beliefs. And when you’re in touch with yourself, you’re in touch with your strengths and weaknesses.
Once you know them, you can double down on your strengths. If you pursue what you’re good at, you’re already one step ahead, and you’ll have the full confidence to exploit that daily to achieve massive success. Pursuing what you love to do is the key to happiness, so it’s paramount you stop looking to others for evaluation and start to evaluate yourself.
So what about the weaknesses? You won’t worry about them because you won’t care what people think. If you run a business you can’t just ignore what you’re not good at, but by not caring about criticism, you won’t think twice about seeking help from mentors and a team of people to supplement your weaknesses.
Not everyone is perfect, but a person who accepts themselves for who they are and runs with it is will always be a successful person, no matter how wealthy or popular they are.
You’ll be honest with yourself and others
A successful personal and professional life is built on relationships, and honesty is key to building great relationships and being a likable person. The truth is, you’re going to be a far more attractive and approachable person if you’re not afraid to say it how it is. Firstly, you won’t judge people on what you’ve heard from others.
You’ll be far more open minded when meeting new people and will develop the right relationships that follow your gut instinct, not relationships based on the bias of other people.
Being honest with yourself is extremely important in decision making. You can’t afford to make decisions based on what other people may think of them or what other people tell you to do – your gut instinct should come first. Only take advice from people you love and trust, but ultimately your decisions and actions should be down to you.
You’ll also have the confidence to speak your mind when you disagree with something. Letting other people’s thoughts and opinions influence your decisions is not staying true to yourself, and if you’re not true to yourself you’re not living a successful life.
You’ll spend time with the right people
Real people can spot a faker a mile away. Be yourself and you will attract the right people. This is almost a summation of all the benefits: Confidence will allow you to meet and attract great people, your self-awareness will tell you who is real and who will push you forward in life, and honesty will build great relationships from the get go.
So many individuals are friends with people they don’t have deep and meaningful connections with simply because they are popular and they want to impress them. By being self-aware you will know who to stop spending time with and who to spend more time with.
My advice: assess who you spend your time with, and if you feel any time is wasted with certain people due to negativity or a conflict in core values, remove them from your life. When you stop worrying about what people think, you’ll know who is right for you and who is wrong for you. Don’t just spend time with people because you’re afraid of hurting their feelings.
Life’s too short to waste it spending time with people you hate, doing things you hate and worrying about the opinions of people who are irrelevant. The fact of the matter is this: your happiness comes down to doing what you love. If you are scared of doing what you love because of what people may think, then you’re sacrificing your happiness. All it takes is that small tweak in your mindset and you will fly.
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